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You Got Cut and It’s Going to Be Okay

September 28, 2019 By Coach Jon Leave a Comment

You got cut. For whatever reason, the coach decided that you won’t have a spot on his roster.

It’s going to be okay.

Take a deep breath. Let’s talk it through. Allow me to convince you that this is the best possible scenario.

Getting Cut Sucks

Okay, maybe this is a bad place to start if I’m going to convince you it’s a good thing. But we can’t avoid it. I’m not going to tell you it’s easy.

I get it. Getting cut doesn’t feel good. It’s a blow to your self-esteem. It’s the coach saying that you’re not good enough for his team.

You may have friends on that team. Maybe you played on that team for a few years, and you even created a bond with the coach. That rejection hurts.

And it’s going to be tough when you see those kids again. When you see that coach. You may be dreading the thought of facing that team down the road, once you find a new team.

All of these thoughts are normal. I’m not going to lie to you and say that getting cut is fun and easy.

But let’s talk about the benefits…

The Bottom Kid

If you got cut, the assumption is that the coach didn’t think you were as strong as other options. Maybe you were really close, but you didn’t make it.

That means that if you had made the team, you would have been one of the bottom kids. Is that what you want?

The bottom kid gets the least plate appearances. He routinely hits at the bottom of the order. The other coach yells for the outfield to come in when that bottom kid comes to the plate. You may not even hit on Sundays, or you may share time.

The bottom kid sits the most because he’s the toughest to find a spot for in the field. He rarely, if ever, gets to play the position he wants to play. He rarely gets to shine because he rarely gets the opportunity.

The bottom kid is an afterthought. He may get opportunities when games are out of hand. But otherwise, he’s not trusted to produce.

You don’t want to be the bottom kid. It’s no fun. You deserve more.

Change is Good

This is an adult lesson, too. Change is good.

Sometimes, we stick with the thing that isn’t best for us because we’re scared of the alternative. It may not be ideal, but at least we know what to expect.

Now you have to find a new team with a new coach and new teammates. That’s scary.

But change is good. This is your opportunity to thrive. This is your opportunity to find a coach who appreciates you.

You don’t need to be the bottom kid anymore. You can be one of the better kids. You can be a star!

Embrace this new opportunity. You can wipe the slate clean and start over. No assumptions about your ability or your role.

Don’t Talk the Coach Out of It

I’ve seen this scenario happen, and it’s a big mistake.

The coach begins expressing his concern about how a player fits on his team. The parents, defending the child, go into salesman mode.

They start pumping up their kid. Your eyes deceive you. You are wrong about his ability. Gamechanger stats are misleading. He’s a great player and a good fit for this team.

Don’t do it. If you talk the coach into taking your child, you will regret it.

The coach was trying to do you a favor. It doesn’t feel that way. It feels like an attack. But if he has doubts about how your child fits, it’s time to move on.

Otherwise, do not be surprised when he’s the bottom kid. Do not be surprised when his confidence is wrecked and you’re upset about playing time.

Find the Right Team

As you go searching for a new team, be careful. Learn from this lesson. Don’t make the same mistake twice.

Why were you cut? If it was due to ability, you may want to adjust the level of team you’re looking to join.

If you join a team that is at the same level, you may be the bottom kid again. You may be at risk of getting cut again. That uncertainty is no fun.

It may take a shot to the ego, but you want stability. You want reps. You want to get better.

Before joining that new team, think about all of the reasons the last team was a bad fit. Coaching philosophy. Playing time philosophy. Number of players on the roster. Level of play. Competition at your son’s primary position.

Don’t jump into a nearly identical situation and expect a different result.

Use it as Motivation

You’re going to feel bad for a while. But then move on.

Don’t wallow in self-pity. You can use this experience to make you better.

Rejection has a purpose in life for those who want to use it. It can wake you up if you’ve been complacent. It can inspire you to work harder.

It’s time to prove that coach wrong. It’s time to make him regret cutting you.

Don’t make it a negative thing. The coach did what he thought was right. And maybe, at the time, it was right. Now your job is to make that coach wonder if he made the wrong decision.

Work your butt off. Get better. When you face that team, you’ll be ready. You’ll play your best ball.

And it will feel awesome.

For the Parent

If you’re the parent of a player who was cut, use this as a teaching moment. Use it productively. Help him understand that it’s not personal. Help him understand that it’s normal and some of the world’s greatest athletes get cut (Michael Jordan did!).

Don’t use this as a negative. Avoid getting personal with the coach and team. Don’t make it a character flaw of the coach. Leave on good terms.

It’s hard as a parent. We see it as an attack on our child that he didn’t deserve. We may even see the rejection as a reflection on us. Don’t buy into that garbage.

This is a new opportunity. This is an opportunity to learn and grow. Embrace it.

Your Turn

What’s your experience with cuts, whether it be as a coach, parent, or player?

Let me know in the comments below!

Filed Under: Coaching, Parents

Arriving Early, Arriving On Time, and Arriving Late

September 27, 2019 By Coach Jon Leave a Comment

If you’re always on time, you’ll be one of the coach’s best friends. He’ll appreciate you.

The Spiders families are really good about this. But I’ve learned it’s something that isn’t automatically understood. The coach needs to establish very clear expectations about what arriving “on time” means.

Why does arriving on time matter? And why should you ultimately arrive early?

Defining “On Time”

We start pre-game warmups an hour prior to game time. So, being on time means that we need each player on the field ready to start warmups at that time.

That doesn’t mean pulling into the parking lot an hour before the game.

It doesn’t mean the player arriving at the field an hour before the game.

Sometimes it’s a long walk from the parking lot. Players often arrive with slides on. They’ll need to put their cleats on and put their bag away. They’ll need to do these things before starting warmups.

Starting Warmups Together as a Team

I value starting our warmups together, on time, as a team. We’ll have some pre-game communications. How are we approaching this game differently? What do the players need to know? Who is playing where? Who is pitching and who is catching?

After those communications, the players start their warmups.

If you missed the pre-game communications, you may be going into the game without valuable information.

If you start pre-game warmups late, you’ll need to cut something short. Fewer stretches could mean a greater likelihood for injury. Fewer reps could lead to a lack of readiness.

If you’re late, you’ll be rushed. And it’s not a good way to start the day.

Ultimately, it sets a really bad tone. I want to start with everyone. But if you aren’t here yet, we need to get going.

Pitchers and Catchers

Pitchers and catchers have a different routine than the rest of the team. They need to get through warmups so that the catcher can gear up and the pitcher can get in some warmup pitches.

If the pitcher or catcher is late, it throws off this preparation.

Prepare for the Unexpected

If you leave in order to arrive on time, something is bound to go wrong. Expect it. Stuff happens.

Your son may get ready late. Maybe he can’t find his jersey. Maybe he leaves his bat in the garage, and you have to turn back around and go get it.

You’ll run into traffic at the worst possible time. Or the GPS will lead you to the wrong location.

All of these things will happen at some point. I guarantee it.

If you prepare for the unexpected, you build in some buffer time. If you prepare to arrive 15 minutes (or even more) early, any delay is no big deal.

One time this past season, I hit some insanely bad traffic. Just awful. It was the only time I arrived late. But, guess what? Every player beat me there. As a result, I couldn’t blame the traffic. I needed to plan better.

Arrive Early

Really just adding this for emphasis. I think it’s clear now that it’s best to arrive early. You’ll be less stressed, less rushed, and more prepared in the event something inevitably delays you.

Your son will also be in a much better frame of mind if he arrives early as opposed to being stressed out about arriving after warmups began.

Enforcing On-Time Arrival

Whether or not the coach does anything to enforce on-time arrival is up to each individual coach. It also may depend upon how bad things get.

If your planned starting pitcher or catcher arrive late, you may consider starting someone else. This isn’t even necessarily as a punishment, but understanding that the routine is different for those positions.

You may also set your first inning bench players based on who arrived late. If you don’t start warmups with the team on time, you will be the first to sit the bench.

And you may even put the late arrivers at the bottom of the lineup. This may even be done out of necessity if a player is arriving especially late.

It’s all up to the coach. Personally, it’s a tough topic because I spend a great deal of time planning out lineups and defensive positions for every inning of every game. I really don’t want to throw that out the window.

So for me, the question is first about whether it’s become a problem. If it does, then we need to start enforcing on-time arrival. But you can’t pick and choose when to do this. You need to be consistent.

Something I’ve done in the past is once late arrival begins to become an issue, I start moving the arrival time earlier. So, instead of a 60-minute pre-game arrival, I use 70 minutes.

There Are Exceptions

This can be a dicey subject. Do we treat all late arrivals equally? What about league games during the week when school is in session? Do we punish those who live a far distance away who can’t arrive on time?

Personally, I provide far more latitude for these weekday games during the school year. I know that it’s difficult to get everyone to the field on time, no matter what you do.

You may choose to give every player a single pass for being late, within reason.

Your Turn

What does your team do to enforce on-time arrival?

Let me know in the comments below!

Filed Under: Coaching

Coaching Through Fear and Intimidation

September 25, 2019 By Coach Jon Leave a Comment

It was the first inning of a fall game. We were far from evenly matched, which has been a bit uncomfortable all season long. We’re expecting to be a majors team next season, and the teams in our fall league were all AA. The results reflected it.

It wasn’t all bad. It gave us the opportunity to pitch kids who didn’t normally pitch. We played kids at positions that they may not normally play. We kept it loose while balancing with good intensity.

The fact that this first inning was getting out of hand was no big surprise. We were hitting rockets. The few times we hit catchable balls, the fielders weren’t making the plays.

This wasn’t new. But there was something that bothered me.

After an outfielder failed to throw a ball he fielded promptly, resulting in an extra base, the coach shouted at him and then sent a replacement into his spot.

A few plays later, an outfielder didn’t catch a ball. Same reaction. A bench player trotted onto the field, replacing that player.

He embarrassed these players to make a point.

This wasn’t a matter of kids being lazy, not focusing, or underperforming. The coach, I’m sure, would disagree. Which is why these moves were made.

But the results weren’t all that surprising. They were playing at the level that was expected (regardless of what the coach may say). They were being intimidated and punished for playing at their ability level.

Does this approach help? Did the players who were benched during the inning learn an important lesson? Would they now be less likely to make the same mistakes next time? And would the replacements be likely to perform at a higher level?

I think you know what I think. It doesn’t help. This coach was using fear and intimidation to get results from kids who were simply performing the way that was expected based on their training and ability level.

I’ve coached for more than a dozen years, and I don’t believe I’ve ever replaced a player in the field during an inning for making a mistake. But I may have had more of that coaching style in me at one time than I’d like to admit. I eventually realized it wasn’t effective.

Coaching Through Fear and Intimidation

What do I mean?

Coaching through fear and intimidation means the coach spends much of his time screaming at his players. Not cheering them on. Ridiculing them. Punishing them for mistakes.

He’s a bad communicator. He’s unable to get his point across. The performance of his players is embarrassing him. He’s angry.

You must know that you made a mistake. Everyone must know that you made a mistake. Everyone must know that the coach taught you differently. It can’t be the coach’s fault.

You won’t make that mistake again. If you do, you’re going to get yelled at. You’re going to be removed from the game. You’re going to be embarrassed in front of your teammates and family.

You may not know exactly how you need to do things differently. You just know that you have to execute next time. Try harder to field the ball, make a good throw, or get a hit.

It Doesn’t Work

Look, I realize that this is still a popular approach. Some coaches continue to operate using fear and intimidation as a motivator. Some parents swear by it. And some kids even thrive off of it.

But it doesn’t need to be your approach.

It’s partly a different era regarding what is acceptable and what isn’t. For me, it’s mostly understanding the most productive way to get the most out of my players.

This isn’t about holding hands, singing Kumbayah, and giving everyone a trophy. I’m as competitive as the next loud, angry coach. I expect as much if not more out of my players as anyone else.

There are different approaches to teaching baseball and life while getting the most out of your players. My approach has certainly evolved over the years.

I’ve always been intense and competitive. But in the early days, I was much louder. Much harsher. I’d focus much more on the negative than the positive.

I guarantee some players would say that they feared me at times. Or that I attempted to intimidate them to get results.

Those teams succeeded. I didn’t understand it then, but it wasn’t the intimidation that got results. It was the coaching. Helping them understand the game. Helping them love the game. Teaching them something new.

The theatrics weren’t what led to the results. If anything, they limited the results that we got.

The Performance is a Reflection of Your Instruction

Most anger and fear-based coaching come from a place of vulnerability. These coaches are embarrassed. They are embarrassed because, deep down, they know the truth.

The team is playing this way because that’s how they have been trained, prepared, or taught.

Coaches don’t want to admit that. But it’s true.

Your players won’t be perfect. They will make mistakes. But the rate at which they make mistakes is a reflection of their training. Their performance is a direct reflection of you.

Look, I know there are many factors involved. You get kids at different experience levels. Some learn faster than others. But ultimately, anger is the wrong reaction. They’re doing what you taught them to do.

That doesn’t mean they’ll always play at the level they’re capable of playing. But, to a point, they are what they are and that’s a reflection of you.

Good and bad.

Balancing Positivity and Negativity

Baseball is a mental game. Confidence is extremely important. You can’t ignore the negative, but there needs to be a good balance.

A player did something wrong. You could yell at them, but guess what? They know they did something wrong because they got a bad result.

What could they have done differently? Did they do what has been taught? Why didn’t they do it correctly? Help them through the thought process.

When teaching, the person being taught will be much more receptive if you balance negative with positive.

“I really like when you did [this]. It showed you were [focused, paying attention, well prepared].”

“But then you did [this]. What was your thought process behind that?”

After they explain what they were thinking, help them understand the proper approach. If possible, allow them to discover the proper approach themselves.

After a difficult game, always try to find some positive things to highlight. No matter what you think, there is something that was done well. Start there. Then cover the negative.

Positivity Without Purpose

You can actually be too positive. We’ve all seen it.

The batter swings at a pitch over his head and misses.

Third base coach claps his hands. “Good swing, Billy!”

No. No, it wasn’t.

If you’re always positive and never point out things that need to be corrected, or if you say something was correct that wasn’t, you are only reinforcing bad habits. And the positivity all becomes noise.

You can correct players without intimidation, but they need to be corrected. Sometimes it’s just a matter of a look. Or maybe it’s simply reinforcing what we want.

Instead of saying it was a good swing when you know it wasn’t, provide basic correction.

First wait to get the player’s reaction. He probably knows that it was a bad pitch. When you realize you’re on the same page, say, “Okay. You’re going to be okay. Turn the page. Deep breath. Nothing over your hands, right?”

And move on.

How to Treat Physical Errors

Physical errors are things like…

  • Misplaying a ball in the field
  • Making a bad throw
  • Striking out
  • Having a bad swing or approach at the plate
  • Walking batters
  • Making a bad pitch

These are physical errors. In each case, the player didn’t want this result. They wanted to make the play. They wanted to make a good throw. They wanted to get a hit. They wanted to make a good pitch.

But they didn’t.

It wasn’t due to being lazy or lack of effort. So, why be angry?

Physical errors underscore what we need to work on. Players need reps. They need lots of reps, but positive reps doing things the right way.

When you see your players making physical errors, write those things down. That’s what you need to work on more in practice.

Earning Playing Time

I don’t recommend coaching through fear and intimidation. Balance positivity with negativity. Don’t punish physical errors.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t encourage a competitive environment.

If Billy is more productive than Jimmy at shortstop, then Billy should play more there.

If Franky is a better hitter than Teddy, then Franky should hit higher in the lineup.

If Johnny is a better overall player than Al (I’m running out of names), then Johnny should get more playing time.

Don’t think this “softer” approach is any less competitive. It doesn’t mean everyone plays whatever positions they want. It doesn’t mean that playing time is shared equally regardless of ability, performance, and preparation.

This is simply establishing a more productive approach to teaching and correction. An approach your players are more likely to receive positively and improve.

Expectations, Rules, and Structure

You should still have rules. You should still establish clear expectations for behavior. You should still coach responsibilities and the mental side of the game.

Continue to be firm. Discipline will still be necessary.

But how we communicate matters.

Focus on Fun

Baseball is a game. It’s not life or death. Stop treating it that way.

If you want your players to hate baseball, keep yelling at them and intimidating them.

If you want your players to burn out, keep embarrassing them.

But, one day they will leave your team. Will they love the game more than they did when they arrived? Will they be more knowledgable? What kind of memories will they have of the team? Of you?

These are the things that we impact. And how we impact these young men is influenced by our style of coaching.

You have a choice.

Your Turn

What are your experiences with coaching through fear and intimidation? What approaches do you use instead?

Let me know in the comments below!

Filed Under: Coaching

The Money Chain

September 23, 2019 By Coach Jon Leave a Comment

We want to keep youth baseball fun. We also want to recognize every player’s contributions and make them feel appreciated. Baseball is a mental game, and it’s important to create ways to keep your team loose, confident, and motivated.

That’s why the Spiders created the Money Chain.

Money Chain

It’s not an original concept. We’ve seen the Turnover Chain. I was ultimately inspired to do something like this after seeing Rogue Baseball do a Player of the Week award for my older boys.

Another solid day on the practice field. Players of the week: @PrestonTenney – Pitcher, @Stilian_B – Defender, @QBrazz5 – Hitter #ROGUE pic.twitter.com/qhkT48cZrB

— Rogue Baseball (@Rogue_Baseball) June 15, 2017

Let’s talk about the goals of the Money Chain and how we handle it, as well as how you could apply this to a similar award for your own team.

What Is the Money Chain?

The Money Chain is a gaudy, gold-looking chain (it may actually be worth about $15) with a big “$” symbol hanging from it. It screams, “LOOK AT ME!” and that’s intentional. We want people to notice it.

The Money Chain is awarded to a player following the final game of the day. It goes to a player who was “money” that day. It could be at the plate, on the mound, in the field, on the bases, it doesn’t matter. It could be for hustle, sportsmanship, or something else entirely.

After the coaches finish our post-game speeches, I whip out the money chain. Everyone knows it’s coming. I explain what the day’s “money” player did and why they deserve it. We then have a presentation ceremony where the player gets down on one knee, and I put the chain around his neck. That player then leads the team in counting us out (“1-2-3 SPIDERS!”).

It’s fun because everyone then sees the player leaving the field with this ridiculous chain. Big smile, lots of pride. That player often then wears the chain to dinner, school, practice, whatever.

The important thing, of course, is that the player needs to take care of the chain. He also needs to bring it for the next day of games, whenever that is. It’s incredibly bad form not to bring it, as we will then not be able to award the next deserving winner.

My goal is to award a different player with the Money Chain after each day of games. I try to award every player the Money Chain once before giving it to anyone a second time. Of course, there can be exceptions if any player had just an insanely good day of games.

Variations of the Money Chain

There are so many things you could do with this.

You could give different awards for hitting, fielding, pitching, and even baserunning. If you give multiple awards, it may be best to do this at the end of a tournament rather than the end of a single day’s games, like we do.

You could also have something that players wear during the game, rather than after. In other words, if a player made an insane catch, hit a homer, struck out the side, or something else, you could have that player put on the chain while in the dugout. Make it a big deal.

Of course, it doesn’t need to be a chain. It could be a silly hat. Or, like Rogue does, it could carry a responsibility with it. There’s a bucket of balls that the player must carry to and away from the field before and after practices and games. It’s actually a job, but one that they don’t mind since it’s a good recognition!

Keep it Fun

As mentioned at the top, the goal of these awards is to keep it fun and recognize players for their good play. They look forward to this. It increases their own competitiveness and they want to win it.

We’ve talked before about how coaches contribute to player burnout. This is a small thing, but it represents a positive culture that the boys really enjoy.

Your Turn

Do you do anything like the Money Chain? What do you do?

Let me know in the comments below!

Filed Under: Coaching

Your Body Language Matters

September 22, 2019 By Coach Jon Leave a Comment

Your body language matters. It’s contagious. It impacts your mental approach, and it impacts your teammates.

The negative reaction reflects negative thoughts. Negative thoughts won’t help you. They will get in your way.

But the problem isn’t that you’re just thinking negatively. The problem is that you’re showing it. And showing it is what impacts others.

Dropping your head in disgust. Putting your head in your hands. Throwing things in anger. Reacting to an umpire’s call. Moping and loitering after an out instead of joining your teammates. It’s all bad body language.

It doesn’t mean you need to have a big smile on your face when the team is down by 10.

It doesn’t mean that you should be unaffected emotionally by everything happening around you.

Being conscious of your body language means understanding that how you react to adversity has a direct impact on your teammates and on your own performance.

If your body language says you’ve given up, it probably means that you have. It says your teammates have the permission to give up, too.

The fight against negativity is a challenge that you can win. It will take some work. But focus on these things…

1. Keep Your Head Up

Don’t bury your face in your hands. Dropping your head also means that you are physically looking to the ground. If you do this in the middle of a play, it means that you have temporarily taken yourself out of the play. Other teams can now take advantage.

2. Avoid Dramatic Reactions

You disagree with the umpire’s call. Your eyes grow big, and your arms spread wide.

“WHAT??”

It’s disrespectful to the umpire. It suggests that you were wronged. It suggests that you aren’t responsible for the result. It will not help you with the umpire. It may suggest to your teammates that the umpire is out to get your team.

Dramatic reactions also distract you from the play. That strike three call? The catcher missed it, and it’s heading to the backstop. But you were too busy reacting to notice.

Keep control. Nod your head. Accept it. Learn from it.

3. Hustle Back to the Dugout

My favorite. You struck out. You didn’t like the result. Don’t mope. Hustle back to the dugout, head held high.

It’s a great way to choose positive body language over negative. It says that you’re going to be okay. That the team is going to be okay.

4. Take a Deep Breath

You made a mistake, or something didn’t go as you would have hoped. Don’t panic. Take a deep breath and…

5. Reset, Reflect, and Refocus

A good exercise to help young athletes — or any athletes — deal with an emotional moment is Reset, Reflect, and Refocus.

RESET: Acknowledge that something didn’t go your way. Gather yourself.

REFLECT: What is it that just happened? Did I do my best? What could I do differently next time? Without the reflection, we don’t learn from what happened.

REFOCUS: Now, what’s happening? What’s the current situation? What do I need to do next? Move on from the mistake or negative moment.

6. Don’t Separate Yourself from Teammates

You’re having a tough game. Once you enter the dugout, the immediate thought may be to separate yourself from your teammates. To sit by yourself. Don’t.

Sure, you may need a moment to get yourself together. That’s fine. But you don’t want a prolonged period by yourself. Get back into the game mentally. There’s no better way to do that than to get to the fence and join your teammates.

7. Stay Engaged

The immediate response for youth players in these situations is to disengage. Go internally. Get quiet. While you may need a minute, gather yourself. Then re-engage! One of the best ways to move on is to stay engaged.

What’s your responsibility? What’s the score? How many outs are there? What’s the count? What’s happening?

8. Stay Vocal

We’ve all seen it. Nothing seems to be going right. The defense isn’t making plays. Every bounce goes the wrong way. We’re not throwing strikes. We’re not getting hits. Calls all seem to go for the other team.

SILENCE.

You can often look into a dugout and know what the score is based on sounds and body language. If it’s silent, things aren’t going to get better.

Stay vocal. Cheer on your teammates. Get crazy. Talk about situations, responsibilities, and play calls. Staying vocal helps you turn the page rather than giving in.

Coaches Need to Watch Body Language, Too!

Hey, coaches aren’t immune! We set the examples. If we exhibit bad body language, we can’t demand something different from players. It will trickle down.

It’s something I’ve long worked on. I’m heavily invested in each play. It’s important that coaches aren’t overly demonstrative when things aren’t going our way.

Remain positive. Show that positivity. Things are going to be okay.

Your Turn

Kids are emotional. They’re kids! You’re not going to eliminate bad body language, but it’s a good thing to work on.

Anything you’d add to this list? How do you deal with negative body language?

Let me know in the comments below!

Filed Under: Coaching

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